I Want to Be the High Saintess
Contrary to my worries, Muriel didn't cause any trouble.
Rather, she was being suspiciously nice.
Captain, aren't you sweating a bit too much while training?
Come on, have a seat. Lucky for you I brought a handkerchief.
Leave your weapon with me while you rest.
What? You're just gonna wash your face?
The lower-ranked saintesses sent me food to cheer me on!
Captain, let's eat together. There's too much for me alone.
I'll hold onto your weapon while you eat...
Huh? You just ate?
Something about this...
Captain, your shoulders must be really stiff lately, huh?
Just for you, I'll loosen them up myself today.
...What are you plotting?
C'mon, Captain! What do you mean, "plotting"?
Here, sit down. Don't be shy.
Once I sat on the sofa, Muriel started pressing into my shoulders.
Well? Feels good, doesn't it?
I got good at this by massaging old ladies who came to pray.
Suspicious behavior aside, her massage skills were actually worth bragging about.
Wow, you're really tense. It's because you carry this heavy thing around every day.
Come on now, just set the Star Piercer down for a second... just a second...
I stood up just in time to stop Muriel's hand from grabbing the hilt.
Eek! Oh, come on! I was so close...!
How do you even know my sword's name?
U-u-u-uhh... I think I might've heard it a few days ago...?
Hey, does it even matter? It's not like touching it for a bit will hurt.
What, you think I'd steal it? After all we've been through? Who do you even think we are?
A con artist and her victim?
Y-you're so mean, Captain...
Do you know how hard I've been working to look after you lately...?
And you won't even trust me with one sword?
...
Ah! Forgive me, Lord Gaph!
Your servant is so pathetic, she can't even earn her own comrade's trust!
If I left her alone, she'd probably keep this up all day.
Fine. Just for a moment.
...Really? You're really gonna let me hold it?
Yeah. Wait a sec.
Ooh, ooooh...!
It's exactly how the scripture described it...
The Order's greatest sacred relic... the Star Piercer...!
A true golden ticket to the High Saintess seat... so magnificent...!
Golden ticket?
Captain, I just got a reaaally great idea.
Clutching the Star Piercer to her chest, Muriel started to slowly back away.
If you die without believing in Lord Gaph, you'll end up in fractal hell with a horrible fate...
So I'll pray for your forgiveness and bring back Lord Gaph's blessing myself!
In exchange, just think of the Star Piercer as a donation to our Order!
Hey! Stop right there!
Kyahahaha! This is it! From today, I'm the High Saintess!
Bye, NOA! Bye, Captain!
I'll come back as someone important! Take care till then!
But before she got far, the Star Piercer's anti-theft tether pulled taut.
And Muriel flew through the air like a stage actor, dramatically tumbling down the steps.
Gyaaah!
She'd been eyeing it so much lately, I figured it was best to add an anti-theft tether. Turns out I was right.
Muriel landed butt-first in glorious slow motion.
When I got down there, she was frozen in place, too stunned to move.
Ugh... my... my butt...
My butt... Ngh, owww... It hurts...
That's what you get for trying to steal my sword.
Steal?! I was just gonna borrow it for a bit!
And you, setting up traps because you don't trust your comrade? You're the worst!
You miser! Coward! Scam artist! Waaaah!
All things I could say about you!
I made Muriel who was caught red-handed kneel with her hands up.
Ugh, my arms... I can't take this anymore...
From now on, I'm gonna pray three times a day that you get bird poop on your head every morning...
What kind of god would grant that?
He will... if it's a prayer from a saintess like me...
Aren't you 116th?
W-well, for now! But I'll be the next High Saintess for sure!
I've already got a plan all lined up for what I'll do once I'm there!
Don't say that! What if I actually do?! Are you gonna take responsibility?!
I buy indulgences regularly and pray every day!
Isn't that enough to keep me safe?
Don't look at me...
I don't care! I don't care!
You talking about lightning just makes me scared! This is all your fault, Captain!
So! Just lend me the Star Piercer, okay?!
Where does she get this miraculous logic from?
Ngh...! Th-that's...
That's what?
Can I tell you later? My arms and legs are all numb...
I'm adding thirty more minutes.
Waaaah! You villain! Heathen! You wretch!
According to Muriel, the Monolith Order collects special objects called sacred relics.
Their doctrine says sacred relics are shards that fell from their god, Gaph.
The sword you have is the greatest of them all.
They say the Star Piercer is the key to waking Lord Gaph from his deep sleep.
With that alone, the High Saintess seat is mine!
You really want to be a High Saintess that bad?
Of course! You'd be an idiot not to.
Just think! I'd get worshipped while sitting on my butt all day!
So in the end, it's all about something worldly.
...Wait a second.
I mean, the Journey's just a big fancy test with a cool name, right?
Even if I don't finish, I just need the participation points!
...Captain? What's with that look?
I took my time and explained to Muriel what the Journey's trials really involved.
About how if it were that easy, no one would have failed it, how a single mistake could mean death, and so on...
Eeeek! There's still barbaric trials like that in this world?!
Then what were you even thinking when you joined?
I thought it'd be some kind of astronomy test since NOA was running it!
Like drawing constellations or something...
So you signed up with no idea at all...
Ugh...
Waaaah! No! I don't wanna dieee!
Save me, Captain! I wanna live past a hundred getting pampered by everyone!
So you're giving up?
No way! If I quit before the trial even starts, they'll call me a coward and never make me a saintess!
Please, Captain, save me! I'll do anything!!
What kind of pain in the neck is this?!
But if I left Muriel like this, she'd never finish the Journey.
At the very least, I needed something to snap her out of it.
Something drastic.