First Encounter
They say people live through their memories.
Perhaps that's why, at the end of fate, those memories run together like frames of film.
They pile up unasked, refuse to burn even when they seem useless, and cannot be hidden no matter how much we look away.
Memory is that cruel. That self-important.
What I thought was warmth burned me. What I thought was happiness carved out my heart.
Amid that pain, time was the only thing I could lean on.
And so, the person that was me slowly died. Just as I'd wished.
At last, I thought I could stop hurting. Stop crying.
I was certain that was the only way to achieve everything I wanted.
My wish, my promise, my salvation... Even my defiance of fate itself.
But only when the end truly came did I understand...
How arrogant and foolish I'd been.
And who I was.
And so...
I opened my eyes.
...Where am I?
...NOA?
No matter how I denied it, the place where I'd awakened was painfully familiar.
But I had no idea why I was standing here.
It was a sense of wrongness I'd never felt before.
...What's going on?
I could've sworn I...
Ngh...!
Ugh... Hah...
It wasn't a headache. It was worse, as though my soul itself were burning.
...
Is this... the Journey?
If I'd reached this timeline of my own accord... I should remember it.
...
What a strange feeling.
I staggered away.
But every step made the dizziness harder to bear.
Agh... This isn't good.
I need to rest for a moment—Hrgh!
Just as I was about to fall, someone caught me.
Are you okay?
...
Gagh?!
Don't... touch me.
Even as he helped me stand, I shoved the Captain away.
If this was a Journey, there was nothing strange about him appearing.
I steadied myself and took a step back from him.
...
...
So... he really knows nothing.
...Huh?
You must have me confused with someone else.
I am not one of your members.
I have no interest in any of that to begin with.
This Journey, and becoming a member... It's all nothing but a third-rate play with no audience.
A third-rate play...?
I don't know who you are...
But you needn't waste your time on pointless things, either.
Go back where you came from.
W-wait!
I was used to this. Keeping my feelings hidden from this imitation of him.
After all, it was the real him I wanted to save.
I'd come to believe there was no meaning in these efforts to prolong a dying world.
...But.
*Huff... Huff...*
He ran around and came to a stop in front of me again.
Your name...
Can you tell me your name, at least?
...My name?
Must I say everything twice before you understand?
Knowing my name won't change anythi—
...
What if I told you I don't have one?
...Say what?
I have no name.
I cast things like that aside long ago.
Does that answer your question?
Well... Captain?
This conversation is over.
I've wasted enough time.
That was enough.
All that mattered was whether this world was one in which I could save him.
The Captain stopped following me, and the place where we'd spoken receded behind me.
If this timeline belonged to the Journey, I had no need for personal attachments.
...It's no different from the other worlds.
I'm just... tired, that's all.
It was a mantra I'd repeated more times than I could count.
I crushed these strange feelings into the fists clenched at my sides.
Things that should have been tiresomely familiar felt oddly foreign.