An Unknown Feeling
Training with Gille that day was no different from usual.
She improved with each passing day. She wasn't what she'd once been, but she was strong enough to be considered a formidable Savior.
How tiresome. Isn't it time we prepared something else?
...Hmm.
...Why are you looking at me like that again?
I believe I've told you countless times not to look at me in that kind of way.
Gille, has anything happened?
...
I don't know why you're asking like something happened to me.
Say what it is you want to know.
Hmph. Everyone who put too much faith in those instincts of theirs probably burned to death in hellfire.
And from what I can see, your instincts aren't especially reliable either.
Because nothing has happened.
Well, that's good, then...
Don't you ever get tired of worrying about every little thing?
You humans... No matter how many times I've seen you, I can't understand you.
Then again, I doubt even that witch understands you completely.
...
Though I doubt that means anything to you as you are now.
Are you going straight back?
...Yes. I need to check on that small, troublesome thing.
You should go back and look after yourself.
With the end drawing near... the day our deal is fulfilled can't be far off.
Maybe I should've gone back with her that day.
Or maybe I should've noticed something sooner.
...
It's gone.
...Why?
Why... is it gone?
Everything else is where it should be, so why...?
Why is the flower the only thing missing?
But more importantly... You're growing a flower in there?
I grow flowers in my room too. It feels like I've found a kindred spirit!
To discover by chance that we share a hobby, Ms. Gille...
How lucky is that? Hehe.
Surely... you aren't accusing me based on nothing more than a suspicion?
I went out of my way to be kind, and you repay me with insults and accusations without a shred of real evidence...
Pfft. You really are ridiculous.
...As if you weren't just lucky enough to catch someone's eye and become a Journey member.
...!
Ngh... Could it be...?!
*Sigh* Kgh...
Where on earth did she take it?!
That maid... I'll make her pay—
Oh, Ms. Gille. Fancy meeting you here!
...
...Was this your doing?
Entering my room without permission, taking my things without asking...!
Hmm? Whatever do you mean?
Oh! You mean that thing you had...
That over there?
...
...?
This... Why... is it here...?
The pot... The flower... Everything...
...
Oh! Don't tell me you were terribly fond of that flower!
Oh dear! It was already like that when I arrived, you see.
I should've called you as soon as I found it.
...What is this feeling?
This hideous, terrible feeling... I've never felt anything like it.
...Loss?
Is this the feeling you people speak of?
Why do I... feel this way about something so small?
...Pfft! The look on your face is priceless.
Who told you to grow something so completely unsuited to you?
Happily tending your little flower under the Captain's protection...
An Executor, cherishing something so tiny and adorable.
Don't you realize how ridiculous you look?
...You... You...!
You insolent insect, all talk and no substance...!
I'll make sure that filthy mouth of yours never opens again!
Gille! Stop!
Stay out of this! I'll crush that wretch if it's the last thing I—
Then you'll be no different from how you used to be!
...
What would have happened if I hadn't rushed there?
If I'd been just a little slower, or learned about it a little later?
Captain! Captain! Look at this! Your member nearly killed me!
Oh, how can someone participating in the Journey be so careless about managing their—
Shut up.
...Pardon?
Hah...! Violence, you say?
Seems both the Captain and his member have completely lost their minds!
...Well, do whatever you want.
It's none of my business.
...
Why did you come?
Why must you always get in my way?
It was always the same. Throughout the countless ages born under that damned Cycle, you never failed to stand in my path.
...I thought this time would be different.
...
Get out of my sight. Now.
I never want to see your face again.
...
What... are you doing?
Why are you the one cleaning that up?
Didn't you hear me tell you to leave?
Or do you find me laughable too?!
...Of course. You must be delighted to see me suffer, just like the others.
In the end, you're no different from them.
You've been watching me get pelted with stones and cursed at, thinking I deserved it.
Am I wrong?
Answer me, Captain!
I think you know how you feel better than anyone else.
Nothing I say right now will help.
...
I gathered up what had been broken and trampled.
The crushed petals and stems no longer looked capable of keeping the plant alive.
...The flower.
...Don't throw it away.
...All right.
And...
Buy me another flowerpot.
Any kind will do.
And I couldn't bring myself to tell her that the flower was gone for good.
...Loss, is it?
Haha...
All those days I burned away...
Was this how it felt for someone else?
...
How utterly... joyless.